MOW YOUR DAMN LAWN, THEO | Anyway

Man mowing a suburban lawn with an American flag backdrop

BUCK “LINDY” LINDSTROM — CONTRIBUTING BROTHER
“JUST SAYING WHAT EVERYONE’S THINKING”

THE GRASS IS NOT YOUR ENEMY

Theo, buddy, it is a lawn. Mow it. A yard is not a graduate seminar. It is the thing between the porch and the street that gets tall when you ignore it. Anyway.

KEEP IT SHORT AND KEEP IT MOVING

I like a little order. I like a mower that starts, a line you can see, and neighbors who do not need binoculars to find the sidewalk. Call that settler technology if you want. I call it Tuesday morning. You can plant flowers too, sure. Just do not make everybody else walk through your meadow to get the mail.

THE FAMILY RULE

Deb made the shared blog because she got tired of us arguing over leftovers and wanted receipts. Fair enough. I am here to say the quiet part loud: the lawn looks better cut. Theo can have the footnotes. I have the extension cord. Anyway.

BUCK’S NOTE

Theo went to school for this. I went to work. Read both. Or don’t. Im going fishing.

EDITOR’S NOTE (THEO ASHFORD-LINDSTRöM): My brother’s framework here is incomplete, ahistorical, and, I think, emotionally loud. I am leaving it up because our mother has my childhood piano.

Comments

One response to “MOW YOUR DAMN LAWN, THEO | Anyway”

  1. Mower Lobbyist Avatar
    Mower Lobbyist

    Grass Auditor: the lawn has been placed on a performance improvement plan.

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